PTHS: When Family is an Obligation/ Living Alone

Part Time Hustle Struggles: So my mom has been staying with me going on 4 months now. 😐 Regardless of how I feel about the details of it all, family is a priority and my mom needs my help right now and this is how I can help her.

As of last Thursday, my sister has been staying with me as well. 😶 A decision I had no part in. My sister goes to school in New Jersey and when my mom moved in with me, she didn’t tell my sister about her ordeal hoping she’d find a job and secure another place to live before my sister finished school for the school year and headed home for the summer. Needless to say, my mom withheld that information from my sister till the top of June after having several conversations with my sister about how excited she was to come back home.

But my sister no longer had a home. After the semester ended in May, my sister was staying with her dad who also lives in New Jersey and formerly worked at the university she is attending. Rather than have my sister just make this one sacrifice and stay with her dad this summer this one time, my mom scramble up some extra cash and help my sister buy a plane ticket to come “home” to Los Angeles for summer.

I found this out the Tuesday before she flew in. That Thursday. Yeah… a week ago. 😑 So, in less than a week’s time, I’ve been sharing my average studio size apartment with both my mom and my sister.

No personal space. No working space. I find myself staying later at work — a place I don’t like — to avoid coming home because it forces me to put on this face like everything is okay and it isn’t.

And I feel bad that I feel this way. I feel bad for wanting my space and wanting my time, the room to think and carry on long conversations by myself to myself. I miss being able to just wear a tshirt and panties at my leisure. I miss having my company over. I miss being able to talk freely on the phone about anything.

I don’t even have kids of my own and family has become such a huge obligation that I never planned for.

I feel like I now gotta find time at work to work on my own work. How am I suppose find the momentum, the motivation here, when I can’t even stretch my legs?

I miss living alone.

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