This Week’s Goal: Mapping Out The Future

No, I’m not psychic. I can’t see the future. If I could, I think I would have made some different choices. Maybe. But I do know what want for myself. In the immediate and distant future. And I have some pretty lofty goals. Lofty enough that I’m gonna need a real strategic plan how to get from where I am to these lofty goals of mine.

So, while I’m amping myself up for these remainder months in 2019, I will mapping out my road to my goals, the things I want for myself in this life. The roadmap won’t be accurate. Adjustments will made. But it will be my guide, nonetheless. And maybe I’ll get to where I want to be faster than I imagined. Who knows?

Working 5 to 9: The Impostor Syndrome

I have it. I know I have it. And I pretend that I don’t. I try to be brave and this forward 21st-century thinking woman. I try to inspire other women to take ownership of their accomplishments and their achievements. I tell them they’re wonderful, they’re talented they’re amazing. All the the in the back of my mind, I’m wondering if…I am.

For the past 10 years, I’ve started a lot of “ventures” that have failed. I proudly called them failures. I’m comfortable with failing. Because it has yet to deter me from starting another project or pursuing another opportunity. In fact, I have two business ideas in the pipeline right now. Despite my many failures before that. I can own my failures. I can own my mistakes, no matter how painful. I can admit I screwed up. But no matter how often I try to be better, work harder, work smarter, I struggle with owning… my….successes or wins.

I’m afraid to call them that.  I’m afraid — well, maybe afraid is the wrong word.  I’m apprehensive to owning my successes and wins.  Something about claiming my wins makes me accountable for more wins. Or to explain how I won or why I thought I won. And I don’t have those answers. I call totally map out why something went wrong, but I struggle with explaining why something went right.

But I want you to have that, though. That feeling like you’re faking your wins even though you’re really winning. I’m working on owning my wins, regardless of their size. And I want you to do the same. That is, if you’re in the same boat as me. I’m mean, we’ve heard this term before — “impostor syndrome” — but how many of us can openly admit it? Want to admit it? Upset that it applies to us at all?

Stay Motivated: It’s Okay to Vent

And oftentimes, you will. That is, vent.

If having a side hustle has taught me one thing it’s that nothing goes completely as planned no matter how well you planned it. People don’t respond they way you want them to, things don’t always line up they way you thought they would and the outcome isn’t always what you expected. In the beginning you may let that roll off your shoulder and chuck it up to lessons learned or just part of the growing process. As few more (hundred) times after that, okay — you’re borderline frustrated trying to paste on a smile. A few more (thousand) times after that, you’re just straight fed up.

But a lot of the people you regularly interact with aren’t part of your circle of influence or don’t understand the challenges you’ve willingly taken on, so they can emphasize, but sympathize with what you’re dealing with. And that can lead to some bottle up feelings. Way past frustration.

In which case, you need to vent. To whom? Someone in your tribe. And if you’re side hustling, girl, get you some tribe members. Even one person will make the difference in your life. This will be your someone who understands juggling a job, a hustle and that thing you call a life. They can listen without judging you or give you honest feedback. Whatever it is you need, they can be the person you vent to so you can continue to steam ahead.

My venting buddy: Elle. And she already knows. Who do you vent to?

Money Matters: Are You Motivated By Money?

If you ask me this question point blank, my answer would be: hell yes! But not in the I love money, money rules everything around me kind of way. More like… I don’t wanna be boke so I make money conscious decisions so I can have a comfortable future that isn’t wielded by the fear of lack of money. There are songs that speak to the evils of money and how money is corruption but I disagree. I see money for what it is — a tool.

And like any generally good-natured person, I work so I can have enough money to have my basic necessities met. But I hustle so I can have more money build my dreams. Because we live in a world where, as my Nana would say

Money talks and bullshit walks!”

And I’ve been very perceptive of the power we have given this tool we call money. We allow it dictate the value of living, housing, vacationing, education and every thing else that touches our lives. So if we don’t have money, we have lack. Or, so we’ve been taught to believe we lack if we don’t have money. Which is why it’s such a powerful motivator. There’s nothing wrong with money as a motivator. But, how we allow it to motivate us, that’s where the waters get murky.

Yes, I’m motivated by money. If I had more money, I’d be able to save more for a place I could own in the foreseeable future. If I had more money, I’d be able to pay off my student loan debts. If I had more money, I’d be able to live in a better neighborhood, or at least in a building that provided its tenants with parking. If more money this or if more money that. I’m sure we’ve all given ourselves the more money speech. But how often have we given ourselves the take action speech?

Think about how many times you yourself or someone you know has said, “if I won the lottery I’d buy….”. That’s a wonderful dream that money may have motivated, but what become of that dream? Better yet, if you didn’t win the lottery – which is all of us – are you still on track to live that dream life? Let money be motivation, but let some sort of execution propel you there.

Happy Friday: Smelling the Roses

Last night I finally for rid of my old mattress and box spring. Two months ago, I lease a new (new to me) car. I’m in market for a new coach and new laptop. Little things. Little material things I would not have been able to do if 7 months ago I stayed in the same place. At the same company, in the same role. Among the same people. I wanted to leave, I was ready to leave and I was finally blessed with an opportunity to leave.

And I’ve been smelling the roses ever since. I’ve had more perks, benefits, chances to network, to grow, to blossom and develop in my short 7 months than the 5 years… I was allowing myself to suffer.

We don’t also know what’s good for us until something bad has been removed. And, girl, let me tell you! Having those thorns plucked from you side makes the world of difference. Not just for you sanity but your overall well being.

So to my hustlers out there: look at how far you’ve come. Look at what you were or have been able to do for yourself. Yes, I know we feel like there so much more for us to accomplish and do and attain that there small materialistic measurements aren’t anything. But sometimes it helps putting it all into perspective. Where we are. What we have. How far we’ve come.

Stop and smell the roses once in a while.