For the longest time, I used to live at the corner of Overwhelmed and Frustrated. My residency there was years. And no matter how badly I wanted to move, it felt near impossible because my current situation felt out of my control. I hated that. I hated wanting more for myself and not being able to do anything about it.
Or so I thought.
I may not have always had the means to change what I didn’t like when I wanted to, but I could at least change my attitude. Cliché, I know, but accurate. You can’t do sh*t with a bad attitude and that’s the gospel truth. I don’t care how badly you want something or want something to change for you, if you’re walking around with a chip on your shoulder or a woe-is-me kind of bag, forget it, honey. You’re canceling out any progress you might be making.
Overwhelmed? I feel ya because I’ve been there. And the best advice I could offer you is two-fold. Find someone to talk with about what’s overwhelming you and why. And count your blessings. Seriously. If you in a position to feel overwhelmed, you’re in a position to feel empowered.
You woke up this morning, right?
You ate something, right?
You have somewhere to lay your head tonight?
You got internet?
I just listed four of your blessings. Give me 6 more.
This past Sunday, I attended a women’s writing workshop in the Leimert Park area that I found via MeetUp. I was really excited to be going and to be a part of this hopefully ongoing experience. And although originally 10 of us were scheduled to meet, 5 of us showed up in the rain and had ourselves a productive time. Even with a small turnout, our backgrounds were very diverse and everyone seemed to be doing something different. Two of the women were sci-fi/ fantasy writers, two women had podcasts, one woman was currently working in communications writing, another was a script writer.
Didn’t I say there was 5 of us? Yes. A lot of the women had multiple projects going on which Ioved because they were like… me. I had found a tribe to belong to.
Now, I know I’ve mentioned the importance of finding one’s tribe before and I still stand on that belief that having women of like mindness to be part of is a key to our individual success. And on Sunday, I got to live that experience, if only for 2 hours.
As a writing group, most of our conversation took place at the beginning and end of our MeetUp, which was enough time for us writers to get to know one another, exchange information, connect and start building a bond.
A tribe takes a minute to build. It’s not going to happen overnight. It takes time. Just like friendships. Just like relationships. But finding people to support you, to encourage you, to cheer you on, to give you feedback and be a resource to you is important. It helps us be accountable to ourselves but also helps us stay committed.
Have you found your tribe yet?
Or behind schedule or running behind… just as long as we don’t stop altogether.
Sometimes being late on something feels like we should stop and quit. “Oh, I couldn’t get this post out on time like I usually have before, so maybe I should stop blogging and forget about it.” Why? Because I was behind schedule? No! That’s never an excuse. Quitting or giving up because of schedule conflicts is not acceptable. Trust me, I’m speaking from experience. Here’s an embarrassing example I’ve mentioned before but I’ll relive it for that sake of this post:
Last year I missed a client. That is to say, I was on my way to see a notary client but never made it to him. I take Uber to see my clients and on this occasion I had chosen Uber Express. For those unfamiliar with this option or perhaps Uber in general, this selection has a designated drop off and pick up spot that aren’t usually at your home or your actual address. When I look back, I mentally kick myself in the butt for not just selecting the regular Uber option. I was trying to save money and instead lost a client forever. What happened was that by Uber driver dropped me off near my location, but because I had never been in this area before, I had started walking the wrong way, killing precious time. I called the client to assist me on getting my bearings straight but quickly learned I was much farther than I realized. I tried walking in the direction I believed the client told me to head in while the client kept calling me in the process asking me if I was near his location. I didn’t want to admit that I was walking or had taken an Uber to get to him. And obviously driving would’ve been much faster than me walking in my wedges, but whatever. After walking for a certain amount of time, I came to a bus stop and sat down. And gave up. The client continued to call me and I started ignoring his calls. He left me some not so nice voicemails which were understandable. Not gonna lie. I get where he was coming from. But because I felt so late and behind our appointed schedule and so far away, I quit. I gave up. I stopped trying
Till this day, I regret doing that, but it has taught me some on the simple but valuable businesses lessons:
- Always show up even when you’re late
- If you’re late, just own it
- Don’t nickle and dime yourself out of client. Paying a few pennies more and I wouldn’t have lost this client
We’re not gonna be perfect all the time and people won’t expect us to be. But they will expect us to be there and perform. And sometimes that’s all we need to do in order to be perfect.
In the words of motivational speaker, Les Brown, “success leaves clues”.
And I believe it. I believe successful people unknowningly left clues to how they became successful. Much of the time it’s persistence and consistent specific actions, but something in the manner of what they did got them to where they are.
And as someone who consistently side hustles, I want to break into the next level of ambitions, so I study the success and clues of others.
Predominantly, women. And one woman in particular, Marie Forleo.
Lately I’ve been listening to her podcast… at work. And I always feel like I end her podcast and little bit confident in what I’m doing even if it hasn’t entirely manifest. She always brings conversation back to creating a life we want to live. Being able to do the kind of work we want to enjoy doing while having as much control over as we desire. And that makes me feel good. Finding successful clues makes me feel good. And when I feel good, I’m able to do more. Like, maintain a level of consistency in efforts that will propel me where I want to be.
I look for successful people to show me to clues they’ve left to help me leap as well.
Whose clues have you found?
Before you click on Nexflix or Hulu, is there else something you could be doing instead? Writing, reading, brainstorming? Maybe just making a list of of the things you want to accomplish this week. An errand list. It’s so easy to want to kick of your shoes and rewatch “Birdbox” or “Dumpling”, but that’s not going to take you to the next level. Especially is that’s your regular unwind routine. Try a glass of red wine and a good book. Right now, I’m reading “It’s Not How Good You Are, It’s How Good You Want to Be”.
Maybe you don’t want to read. Fine. Although, good ideas are sparked from reading. But, please don’t numb yourself when you get home from a long day. Use yourself for yourself.