Emma’s Resignation Letter

So…. {laughs}

So… I a friend and I guess I can call her a former co-worker sent in her resignation letter Monday afternoon. I had the chance to read the draft and the final version before she emailed it to our HR department and the COO and owner of the company. And all I gotta say is…. dayum. I mean, I dream of what my last days or weeks of my current job would like but I don’t know if it would ever be something like this:

Hey Everyone,
So I was going to write up this professional ass email but then I just decided to just keep it real. So some of you might know that a couple of months ago in the LA office I had a pretty bad mental break down. Some people may be ashamed or don’t feel ok talking about it, but I am different. I live with extreme anxiety and depression, but this letter is not about that. This letter is about how me having this mental breakdown at work allowed me the time I needed to reflect on not only myself, but the things that were affecting me in a negative manner. One of those things was working at ICT.

Yea, sounds fucked up right? There was so much that I loved about working at ICT. I loved being a part of a company that provides services for children with autism. Despite having to deal with rude parents, schools, BI, PM, or in the odd case CS; I still loved what I was doing. No matter what differences or struggles I also love the team. It didn’t matter if you were in the scheduling department in LA, accounting, or WC. Where the problem laid is in our management and HR department.
Yes, I said it. And it’s true.
Gary,
You are always saying to come to you if you have any ideas or concerns. Always sending out your surveys and trying to figure us out with data. Even though I am not there in person here it goes. The first time I was effected in a negative manner by management and HR was when they sat me down and wanted to talk about how they thought I wasn’t doing so great in my department. I get it, sometimes these conversations need to happen. Usually after that type of conversation I would think that management would give their employee a plan to work on and then touch bases in a few months to see how you were doing. Did that happen for me you ask? NOPE. Instead I was told by not only my manager Teresa Solis but also HR VP Janet Brown that “Noni doesn’t care if you have kids.” Tell me, how in any way does this comment help their employee succeed? That comment has stuck with me the whole almost four years I have been with this company. I am not perfect in any way, but one thing I know is that I am a hardworking dedicated employee. All I have ever worked on I do it with pride. I think only once or twice in the four years I worked for ICT was I ever acknowledged by my supervisor for all the hard work and amount of work I have done. I can sit here and go on and on about this, but I am not going to. A lot of focus goes to the clinical staff. Yea, they are the ones out on the field but you know what they are not the only ones that matter. The admin matter too! Why don’t we get the same benefits? The same allowance to be taken out to be shown we are appreciated? What, because we are all replaceable? Believe me, I have also been told by management. Why is it so hard to actually value your admin? Why do you think that most people in the office don’t speak up truthfully unless it is done anonymously. Because we know that if anything negative is said this will be taken out on us some way. When management can’t be trusted as well as not being able to trust HR how is anyone going to feel comfortable reaching out to make our work environment more constructive? Oh, and then there was that time when all of scheduling in LA was put into Janet’s old office and were told to stop talking to each other about what we are paid…that was fun. Every time our department was pulled into a meeting there was an unsettling feeling over the department that I am sure I am not the only one that felt it. Another fun flash back, when HR Janet and (I really don’t remember why she was employed by ICT) Julie told the scheduling department that if we didn’t like our jobs to leave…Classic.
Oh another scheduling department favorite in which I am very sure I am not the only one that had this encounter. When your supervisor Teresa tells you that she has eyes and ears everywhere when she is not in the office. How is this ok? Why do you feel you need to big brother your department? How about instead worrying about what is being said in the office worry about being a more effective and professional supervisor. Stop telling the department that things are changing for the better and then nothing changes. For example our yearly performance reviews. What ever happened to that? The first time I was reviewed the first thing that was said to me was that there was no raise with that review. Then the following review when “things were going to change” we were told we would be having yearly reviews. This review should have taken place in February. Oh, and then waiting over two years for any type of raise I was given a slap in the face with what I was given. But when my help was needed when my department was short a Caseload planner, or when help was needed with SAC when what’s her face that was hired as a Caseload planner was not doing her job, and then help was needed in the OC and I was told I would be assisting I did this without hesitation. But of course that was overseen right? And the fact that I am the only senior scheduler that was never offered a caseload planning position despite me openly speaking to my supervisor regarding this matter. But when it was to management’s benefit to throw in my face that I am a senior scheduler that was only time that mattered. Well that was a bad move on managements part. You can sit there and hire others with so called experience but none of that experience can prepare these people for the way they will be treated in ICT. Why do you think there is such a high turnover rate now in our department? Oh yea, and stop lying about working on our department budget to help benefit us. We all know that shit isn’t going to happen. So that is enough rambling from me, believe me I could go on and on. I hope this information is helpful and helps open up the conversation about how the admin staff is treated, how there should be changes made in management, and why HR isn’t more neutral and professional about how they approach department issues.

Shout out to the accounting department. You guys work hard AF too. Love you guys.
It is not healthy for me to return to this toxic work environment. I have worked on helping myself to much to return to what I know is never going to change. That is like getting back with a boyfriend / girlfriend that you know you have a fucked up relationship with. You can try and lie to yourself that this next time will be different, but deep down you know you are lying to yourself.
So with that said.

This is a cat…

A Screaming Cat and Flying Buckets! Whoo hoo!!

And this is also my resignation effective immediately.

Bye Felicia.

Love, Emma

Yes. She wrote all that and yes, this heifa had the audacity to include a cat picture in her resignation letter.

I shared this with my mother and my mother was displeased hearing this, but — hey, I’m all for people burning whatever bridges they wish. I get it. When you have that much animosity for a company has professionally done you wrong for years, sometimes you gotta vent.

Would you ever share/say this to a employer you couldn’t wait to leave?

Wine Wednesday: Moscato & Seized!

What the hell is this?!

Backpage Shut Down

First, Craig’s List hits me with a curve ball requiring all those posting services to pony-up $5 per post.  I know $5 may not sound like a lot but when you’ve been paying nothing for years and you have 10 ads posted at any given time, $5 adds up quickly.  Only to find out that BackPage has been seized

What is going on in the online classified world right now?

Needless to say, I’ve had to get very strategically in marketing efforts here.  Try new things I’ve once thought about.  Pay for promoted content and keep on my search for other free and reputable outlets to increase my clientle base.

If it ain’t one thing, it sure is another.

But I while I figure these marketing plans, I an swirling a glass of Bay Bridge Moscato.  Didn’t know Bay Bridge made Moscato, but who doesn’t.  I like Moscato and this particular brand is all right.  Although, Moscato is the wine for people who really don’t like wine and don’t know how to drink wine, so they gravitate towards something they’re familiar with, something that tastes like juice.  Thus, Moscato.  Not to mention, I have to yet post a white wine.  Nothing personal… entirely.

Wine Wednesday: Moscato

If anyone knows any reputable, non-seized and still free online classified sites, please let me know.  I am on the hunt as I am sure many others are too.

Wine Wednesday: Wine & Work

Neo d'Avola and New Job

Still working on that Nero d’Avola.  The more I let it breathe in between sips and savors, the more I enjoy it.  The more tasty and smooth it becomes to my palette.   And that is it all right with me.

Not quite a full moon.  But we’re just a day or two away from one.  I love full moons.  I’ve been in love with the moon since I was a child.  I would tell my mother, whenever we were out driving and the moon was full and bright, that it was following us.  Following me.   How could it not have been?  A left there, a right here, a sharp turn a few blocks away — there he was.  Just quietly following me.

I have a second interview tomorrow.   I hadn’t a chance to say anything over these past couple days, just been real busy with regular life.  But I interviewed for a new role at a subsidiary company of a nonprofit real estate company and had thought the interview went really well.  I was scheduled to come in at 3pm and didn’t leave till 4:46pm.   Damn good, I would say.  I asked how soon were they looking to fill the role and the say said the next two weeks were going to be full of first round interviews, then afterwards, they would begin to do second round interviews with the CEO of the company.   I pegged that to be middle of April at the very latest, right?

I interviewed on Monday.  This past Monday.  The 26th.   My second interview with the CEO is this Friday.  DAMN! I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am about this role (and their 3 page list of employee benefits) and how elated I am that something I want is moving so fast.  I’ve already claimed it. This job is mine.  They have the right kind of people — so it seems–  the right kind of environment and attitude about work and progressing in one’s career.   AND… it’s only 10 or 11 blocks from my house.  AND… if I bused it to and from work, they would pay for that!

Where that’s emoji with the hands up?

But’s that’s child’s play benefits.  This organization offers life, death, accidental, travel, short and long term disability insurance, AFLAC, all medical — health, vision, dental, lasik, 401K in which they pay 15% of the employee’s salary into even if the employee doesn’t commit to anything, they have a tuition reimbursement, PC purchase program, public transportation stipend (already told you about that), housing purchase program, and a few other things I’ve forgotten off the top of my head.  And here we thought benefits were on their way out like private sector pensions were a few decades ago.

All I asked is that you keep me in your prayers.  If you don’t pray, cross some fingers for me.   Just send me good vibes.

What about my dream and goal to start and run my own business?  That is still the goal.  It hasn’t changed.  But however I can move in that direction, by any means necessary.

Wine Wednesday: Carménère

I can’t believe we’re racing through March as fast as we are. In two and half weeks we’ll be done with the first quarter of 2018. Wow.

Wow.

I’m just reflecting on everything going on in my life right now and — I don’t what to say. Already there have been some highs, some obvious lows and everything in the middle. As I look over these past soon-to-be few months, I’m trying to gauge where I want to be in the next three months and where I want the rest of the year to take me. One of my dearest friends and I talk often about our progress, our pitfalls, our stalemates and it’s interesting how people with similar ambitions but different journies can experience the same trials. Crazy, really.

But I’m going to be optimistic. Don’t know if being anything else would be worth the time or benefit. Plus, I’ve gotten this far thinking I can make something out of myself. Why stop believing.

And while take this time to plan, I’m going to take this glass of Carménère I bought at Trader’s Joe and enjoy every drop. This reminds of blend between a Malbec and a Cabernet Sauvignon. I like it. A lot. When chilled, has a smooth and fine finish in my book.

Hope you the this evening as well.

Wine Wednesday: Mom & Me… and a little Redwood Creek Pinot Noir

It’s day seven.  I’m not counting, but I am.  Only because I’m worried that the mood and atmosphere will change.  It’s been fine so far, but for how long?  And how long can we stay like this even though the situation is temporary?

What am I talking about?  My mom moved in me.

She’s currently in between jobs, actively looking.  Been looking for over 6 months now.  Didn’t want to continue to throw money at her apartment that she wasn’t too sure she’d be able to keep anyways, so she packed up all her stuff, threw it into storage, gave what she could away and moved in with me.  In my 500 square foot studio apartment.  It was either that or let her live in her car until… who knows?  A decision I could not live with.

I don’t know how long this arrangement will be, but it’s a small sacrifice to help someone I love out.

So, it’s me and a glass of Redwood Creek Pinot Noir.  Some cheddar cheese off the block to set the mood.   It’s pretty good, better slightly chilled.   It’s day seven and mom and me are still chill in tight quarters.  I hope we can continue this for however long it’ll be.  [Clinks glass]  Today it’s not just about me.

Redwood Creek Pinot Noir

Wine Wednesday: Mentor & Me

I don’t know if he’d call himself my mentor, but I definitely would.  Whether I’ve ran with his wise advice or not.  Mostly not, for the same reasons most people don’t attempt to venture into anything for themselves: fear.  And I haven’t talked to him in years.  Years!  He’s been dealing with some family issues.  I found out his mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s not too long ago.  And to prevent any of his relatives from dumping her in a home and forgetting about her, he closed up shop in Texas and headed back home to Indiana. And he’s been there for at least the past two years.  Taking care of moms.

And we had a wonderful time of catching up — well long overdue — last week and into this week.  And I realized how much I missed talking to him.  No, it was never sexual.  More like parental.  He’s always said he saw a lot of himself in me, even since I was 17.  My desire for success and to be good enough, according to him, has never waived (which is nice to hear).  And there’s no better advice I can get from a fellow hustler, a business owner in his own right.

As we chatted and caught up, he reminded me that there are going to be lots of things I may have to endure in order to get on other side of the mountain where I want to be.  Yes, I may have to work for someone else a little longer, because it takes care of the necessities — bills, rent, food, savings, etc. And yes, I may have longer working days than my counterparts, because aside from the work I do for an employer, I then turn around and work for myself.  And yes, I may have to continue to make some sacrifices to ensure the future I want.  I’ve missed births, weddings, big birthday bashes and just ol’ regular get-togethers.  All this is to be expected.   All this I know.  But there was one thing he did say that perked me up about my efforts so far.  He truly believes with all that I am doing, I am truly on at the precipice of greatness.  If I can just bear continuing my hard work and efforts a little longer, I will begin to see the fruits of my labor.  And that I need to slow down the deadlines of my expectations.  He says I have very high standards (well, duh!) and with high standards comes longer waiting period for success.   If it didn’t take much to make be happy and feel successful, I would’ve hit that marker a long time ago.  But wanting more — to be more, to do more, to have more, to live more — requires more time to achieve it.

So, I’m gonna hold on to that.  Hold onto the belief that my time is coming because I am putting in the time and energy to go after what I want.  And in honor of the wonderful phone reunion I had with my mentor, I decided to enjoy Marsala Sweet.

Marsala Sweet

It’s a brandy wine (that’s what it taste likes).  Wine infused with Brandy.  Very dangerous – very good!  18% alcohol by volume.  I know wines can get you buzzed and on rare occasions, get you F’ed up.  But this bottle is that occasion all on its own.  But I didn’t have it all.  After all, I’m a 33 year old woman.  I have responsibilities.  I got work in the morning!  But it’s sooo good.  And I got it from Trader Joe’s, which is to say, I got one hell of a deal for it.

Wine Wednesday: Ginger Ale

Yeah…

Not going to lie, I would really — I mean, really like a glass of Merlot right about now.  But I am getting over some kind of stomach thing, so no.  I left work early yesterday because — it was just awful.

Yesterday morning I went to work and probably shouldn’t have because I had been feeling queasy all morning.  Like, not good queasy.  And when I got to the office (I’m in at 7:30am) I had already made two trips to the bathroom by 9:00am and wasn’t feeling any better.  For better or worse, that quickly changed around 10:00am.  I mean, it was so bad I felt bad for the janitor guy, Miracle (no, that’s really his name.  He hasn’t told me how he came to be name that, but that is his legal-God-given-on-his-birth-certificate-name.  “Miracle”).  I mean, I covered that bathroom floor in ways only tile should.  I was grossed out and embarrassed all while not giving two rats’ asses.

Because I had made of mess of myself so bad, all I could do was leave.

I waited till after the last woman in the bathroom left, wiped up what I could up from the floor with some seat covers (told you it was bad), washed my hands and mouth and headed back to the office to call my boss and tell her I was going home.

But I ubered home.  Which meant I had briefly explained to the Uber driver (nice lady) and my fellow passenger why there would be a stench in the car once I got in.  At first, I thought I was the only one who had rolled a window down.  When I made it home and hopped out of this nice woman’s car, every window was down.  I wanted to feel bad about it but I was too nauseated to give too much thought to it.  Luckily, I keep a light throw blanket on my chair in the office, because the managers of the building really don’t know what “comfortable” is to humans, so it mostly feels like a naked trip to Alaska all the time no matter what the weather is like outside.  When I had gone home for the day, I grabbed the blanket with the intention of wrapping it around my lower half (it was bad) but then decided that I would to protect my driver’s seat with all of my… mess.

After several hours of sleep later, a visit from my mom, 5 crackers and almost whole 2-liter bottle of ginger ale to myself, I felt like myself.  Mostly.

So may all you wonderful wine drinkers drink up in honor of that I cannot participate this Wednesday, but next week… it’s you and me!

Wine Wed. Ginger Ale