Working 5 to 9: Don’t Share Your Aspirations With Everyone

There’s something about having big goals or dreams that puts people in an uneasy state with you, particularly if it’s not their big goal or dream. I wouldn’t call this jealosuy or envy right away, but definitely an opposition. I’ve learned a few times with different people not to share my lofty goals or aspirations.

I had a coworker, neither she or I work at the former company anymore, who told me she would never work as hard as I do. There’s nothing that she would ever want in this life to make her hustle they way I was. What was funny about her statement was I knew her boyfriend and he was, probably still is, a hustler. He was working, seriously like three jobs. The two of them lived together split their rent and bills down the middle and even had a joint checking account (unmarried and in their 20s, girl, yes). But she was content with her one job and one income stream. Her boyfriend obviously wasn’t.

I’m obviously not. YOU’RE obviously not. That’s why we hustle. At least, that’s one reason.

Sharing with her wasn’t a bad move. Neither was sharing with any of the others, not entirely. Not at first. At first, people seemed to want to have a hustle of their own too and wanted my help creating one. Awesome! But, when I would try, they would hit me with excuse after excuse as to why they couldn’t start right now. It was like I was getting pumped for information and having the life sucked out of me. Later, perhaps, it grew into an envious mindset. After all, I was the only one who wouldn’t complain about money all the time, even though there were others who were making more of it than myself. Because a side hustle helps you generate more money.

And it removes the desperate factor from your life. It takes away your money urgencies. That need you have for more money all the time. You may still feel that at times, but the truth is if you have an active side hustle, you don’t need money as bad as many of your counterparts. And they see that. They see you hustle but not struggle like them and that doesn’t sit well with some people. Some people want you in the same boat as them. Misery loves company.

I’ve learned that. So I don’t tell new people and even others who I haven’t told already that one day I plan on being wildly and successfully self employed. That’s my big goal. That’s what I’m hustling for.

Thursday Thought’s: Side Hustle vs. Use of Time

First and foremost, let’s welcome in March!  It’s the top of the bottom of the first quarter of the year (I said that to deliberately confuse you). We are blowing through these months in 2018, aren’t we?  My mom was right.  As you get older, time just seems to speed up.

SLOW DOWN, 2018!  I’m trying to enjoy the year. I have plans!

Side hustling plans, obviously.  Speaking of side hustle, I had a short enough conversation with a coworker on the way down in the elevator one day leaving work realizing something interesting about how single people and “our time” are viewed.  My coworker had asked what was in the heavy bag I was carrying as we left work and I explained to her it was a project I had finished for a real estate client and I was dropping it off to them.  And then she tilted her head as if to say ‘what’.  I then quickly stated that I do work “on the side”.  And she then replied, “Oh.”  Oh.  Oh, as in, how wonderful it was that I really didn’t spend all my single free time do absolutely nothing.  [frowns face].  But if I wanted to, I surely be entitled to it.  After all, it is my time.

Now, this coworker of mine is my age, recently turned 33, acts a little older. But that’s because she has two young kids, her oldest is 3 and her youngest is 17 months.  She’s married to man who seems to constantly be in between jobs, so her salary supports all four of them.  And she commutes from Palmdale to LA five days a week for work.  Her plate is full, to say the least.  And for someone whose plate is so full to look at me, a person whose plate isn’t as full — oh, so she may think — and to know I do more with my time than just come to work almost validated my existence.  Again, the assumption that single people are lucky and have it easy.

I so do not agree with that, but I’m also a side hustler who keeps her plate full by choice.

Her validation of my “extra-curricular activity” wasn’t made because of the activity itself, but because I actually had one.  I was doing more with my time than Netflixing.  Forget the fact I am on path to position myself to be self employed.  I’m doing more than what I need to with my life.

Over it.  So over it.

Now, I like this coworker, but I will be damned before I apologize for my life choices or hers.  To each their own.  And I made this decision years ago that success would be a priority in my life.  A good friend of mine used to tell me all the time, ‘the more you have, the more you have to give’.  Damn straight!

I don’t want to be like everyone else.  I don’t want to content with mediocrity and the hum-drum of every day life  Low or status quo expectations are not for me.  I want more because I need it.  I need to know that when I leave this earth that I used every ounce of potential that was gifted to me.  I need to know I tried every avenue to live the life I see for myself in my head.  That doesn’t include kids before I’m ready.  Or a deadbeat husband.  Or even average friends.

So, yes.  I spend my time doing bigger better things (within my limited scope and reach) because I want bigger better things for myself.  That is the declaration I made to myself for myself.

To all side hustlers out there, you are validated in every thing you do, not because of the expectations that are placed you on and you exceeded them.  But because of you and all efforts.  You could have given up.  You could have realized “this” isn’t working and settled for what you have right now, hoping it might get better on its own.  But, no.  You decided to make it better with your own two hands.

You are the shit.  In case you needed reminding.