I often questioned my efforts, wondering am I really doing all I can be doing to get to where I want to be. I can drive myself crazy with the questions, but not knowing the answers is just as bad.
Am I studying my interests enough?
Could I be reading more, taking more classes, going to more seminars and workshops?
Am I as dedicated as I preach to be?
How to can become more disciplined?
Is being too disciplined a problem?
Do I have the right amount of people in my life to act as sounding boards?
How can I find other like minded people to congregate with?
Can I do this alone?
Should I do this alone?
If no man is an island, can a woman be?
When will my preparation finally meet my opportunity?
Will I know it?
Do I need to be more for any opportunity that comes my way?
Am I doing enough?
How many others have felt this way as well?
I’ve known for a very long time that I’ve wanted to work for myself. I don’t have the resources I feel I need to make the transition to be completely free of the rat race, but freelancing on the side of my full time job has given me that taste of freedom and hope that I’ll get there one day. But, I don’t seem to be surrounded by others who share my desire. No, not for the spacious loft downtown with the ceiling to floor windows (still dreaming about that. I’m talking about being their own boss, working from home. Working for themselves! I can go to events and workshops and networking groups and find like minded people there, but outside of that, I know only a handful of people who share that same passion to break up with W-4s come hell or high water, knowing there’s so much hell and so much high water (reminds me of a great “Scandal” line from Eli Pope. Love that character!).
Where are my people because I obviously don’t work with them. Not many are in my family and I can probably think of three friends who are pursuing self employment as an alternative to a time clock. Where are these people I read about in Fast Company and Entrepreneur magazines who took a chance on themselves and it worked out? It is because they took a chance and failed? But how many times did they fail? Les Brown says you got to fail your way to success, so what’s the problem here? Is it that no one else wants this? How can that be? How can someone want to work for someone else for the rest of their lives? It can’t be all fear. I’ve been rejected so many times I wouldn’t know how to take it the wrong way anymore. A ‘no’ is great start for communication in my book. It means I now who I’m talking to on the other end of that funky ass Craigslist email address. And let’s not even begin to count my failures, if want to look at them like that.
Why don’t I know more people… I don’t know what to say like me, but it’s the truth. I can’t be the only one waking up at 4:45am only to repost free ads to make sure today’s looky loos gets a chance to see my services. I can’t be the only one spending money on GoDaddy buying domain names I might one day use. Or creating then editing several times my editorial calendar for this blog. Researching card stock for business cards. Meeting clients on Saturday night outside of Whole Foods on 8th and Grand. Little things to move the needle to get close to the dream.
One female, single and hustlin’ looking for other hustlers who are moving the needle little by little to get closer to their dreams. I’ll be here waiting– but working! 🙂