Not going to lie, I would really — I mean, really like a glass of Merlot right about now. But I am getting over some kind of stomach thing, so no. I left work early yesterday because — it was just awful.
Yesterday morning I went to work and probably shouldn’t have because I had been feeling queasy all morning. Like, not good queasy. And when I got to the office (I’m in at 7:30am) I had already made two trips to the bathroom by 9:00am and wasn’t feeling any better. For better or worse, that quickly changed around 10:00am. I mean, it was so bad I felt bad for the janitor guy, Miracle (no, that’s really his name. He hasn’t told me how he came to be name that, but that is his legal-God-given-on-his-birth-certificate-name. “Miracle”). I mean, I covered that bathroom floor in ways only tile should. I was grossed out and embarrassed all while not giving two rats’ asses.
Because I had made of mess of myself so bad, all I could do was leave.
I waited till after the last woman in the bathroom left, wiped up what I could up from the floor with some seat covers (told you it was bad), washed my hands and mouth and headed back to the office to call my boss and tell her I was going home.
But I ubered home. Which meant I had briefly explained to the Uber driver (nice lady) and my fellow passenger why there would be a stench in the car once I got in. At first, I thought I was the only one who had rolled a window down. When I made it home and hopped out of this nice woman’s car, every window was down. I wanted to feel bad about it but I was too nauseated to give too much thought to it. Luckily, I keep a light throw blanket on my chair in the office, because the managers of the building really don’t know what “comfortable” is to humans, so it mostly feels like a naked trip to Alaska all the time no matter what the weather is like outside. When I had gone home for the day, I grabbed the blanket with the intention of wrapping it around my lower half (it was bad) but then decided that I would to protect my driver’s seat with all of my… mess.
After several hours of sleep later, a visit from my mom, 5 crackers and almost whole 2-liter bottle of ginger ale to myself, I felt like myself. Mostly.
So may all you wonderful wine drinkers drink up in honor of that I cannot participate this Wednesday, but next week… it’s you and me!