Just… happy Friday. It seems sometimes we make happiness the be all to end with life events to measure by and big gestures so the whole world knows we’re happy. But, that’s hardly ever the case.
Within a day of one another, two people I consider to be part of my tribe shared with me the personal struggles they’ve been battling in aiming to reach their goals. Family troubles, money troubles, just all of it has been weighing on their hearts and mind. So much so they’ve felt consumed by those thoughts of late.
Not much I could do but remind them to find the things that make them happy that involves no one else but themselves and no money. Just… happy things.
Today, I hope you all do the same. The hustle can feel like a rat race in itself. So find time and things that bring you joy and make you happy.
Literally. My mother used to tell me as a child:
association brings about assimilation
And now that I am wiser and older, I believe her wholeheartedly. The company we’re constantly involved with and have in our lives directly affects our lives. And oftentimes, our livelihood. Sounds like a stretch? Then follow me on this train of logic.
Affluent people hang around other affluent people. People in poverty spend time with other people in poverty. Celebrities tend to marry other celebrities. Birds of a feather flock together. Does that ring a bell? Too vague? It’s been said and supposedly studied that we are all the summation of the top 5 people when spend the most time around. So, whomever we tend to share time with, break bread with are the people we’re most likely to reflect. Assimilate.
But how does that affect our dollars and cents?
Think about it: if you’re spending time with people who don’t amount to much and don’t want to amount to much, chances are you probably aren’t amounting to much either. The wealthy tend to spend time with other wealthy people. Think about all those inner circles and clubs and societies most of us could never be in. We’re not on that level. That financial level.
Elle and I had a long talk about this Sunday afternoon about keeping the right people around us and we decided we are each other’s tribe. Well, we didn’t really just decide that then. We’ve always known it, it just was reiterated in our conversation. But we understand our strong will and determination helps pump the other up so when we call each other we’re already on the same wave length. We get each other. And we give each other business. She refers me to new clients — what’s starting to feel like — all the time. And I help her craft and polish her business ideas and give her guidance in what direction to go in. Because good company cares about your success. Good people want to see you succeed. Good friends and tribe members want to revel in success with you.
Because they too know it matters having the right people have your back. It’s more than friendship. It’s your livelihood.
I’ve been guilty of drowning in my own mess of stuff that I forget to check in on other people who I enjoy having in my life, who I value and who I consider to be a part of my tribe. I make excuses trying explain or justify that I gotta just do me. That something something came up. Or, maybe I just avoid calling the person. But we, as women, are not only great communicators. We are extremely empathetic and sympathetic. For us not to be in touch with one another is a great loss to our connection.
So since everyone (ideally) is checking the bank accounts, how much they’re saving and the improvements their budgets could use, check in on your friends. Check in your loved ones. Definitely check in on your tribe! Make sure they’re doing all right. Offer yourself to their aid. Make yourself available in the near future. Your tribe is in your life for a reason and not just to bounce ideas off, but to bond. To share experiences. To connect.
If you haven’t sent that text, or Instagram message or email. Do so. Most people my age don’t call. But I do, because I play an adult in real life. So I also call. I do my best to remind myself that just like I have days I get caught up. The same applies to them.
So, check in on your tribe. Make sure everything is good with them. Connect. You’re on each others team for a reason.
I’m a big advocate for building a tribe. I talk about it as work but I also talk about it among my tribe, ironically enough, because I believe so whole-heartedly in having people in our lives that we vibe with. I think it’s important that we have people who understand us and share our ambitions. This dual lifestyle we live isn’t easy. Juggling everything all the time isn’t fun or delightful. And those that aren’t hustling or don’t have a side gig would simply tell us to stop if we’re so tired, or so overwhelmed, or so confused or whatever else we feel so often. But they don’t understand the “why”.
They see someone doing too much and do they say stop. We see someone doing too little and ask why they haven’t started. And then we have a clash of energies. And we do clash with people who don’t get it. We clash with people who aren’t striving for similar self-rewarding goals. They’re just doing enough to get by. That’s fine for them. But obviously, that’s not fine for us. Which is why we hustle. We grind. We strive. We aim. Yet, we also need to understand it isn’t fine to be around the energy of those that do too little.
I don’t know who said it, but I heard that it’s easier to be influenced to do less and give up than it is to do more and achieve. Probably because most people aren’t big on achieving. A lot of people as they get older stop setting goals. They stop making plans. If you want to achieve anything, you need to keep setting goals. You need to keeping aiming for something. People who just want to get by doing the bare minimum have no goals. They have no direction. And they are worst kind of energy to be around.
At least for high achievers and hustlers. See, we have a reason and a purpose for what we do. So when someone tells us to stop, it’s because they are tired of comparing themselves to us. And if we stop working so hard, were just like them. Executing the bare minimum and accepting less from ourselves.
Ladies, don’t. I don’t care who’s telling you to stop or you’re doing too much. Keep up the hustle. You got your reasons and you have your goals. Just focus on that. And those bad energy people, just gently nudge them away. They’re not ready to see success. And don’t they need to be tearing down yours.